How stressful a divorce is on the children involved depends a lot on how the divorcing spouses handle the situation. While divorce is rarely described as enjoyable, it's certainly possible to handle it calmly and rationally. However, with the tensions involved in ending a relationship, this is easier said than done.
If you're getting divorced and you're worried about the effect it could have on your children, then you should consider getting an amicable divorce. While they don't work for everyone, they can be very useful in limiting the amount of tension during divorce proceedings.
How An Amicable Divorce Can Help
An amicable divorce will mean coming to an agreement over the terms of the divorce outside of the courtroom instead of arguing the case out in court. And your children don't need to be present in the courtroom for the tension those arguments cause to have an effect on them. Courtroom arguments make your divorce feel more like a battle of wills than a negotiation, and it's easy for that to leave both parents stressed and exhausted.
Amicable divorce doesn't have to mean you agree on everything right away; it means that you and your spouse will try to negotiate the terms of the divorce honestly. While it's possible that neither spouse will get everything that they want, it is certainly less stressful to work these problems out in a meeting room than a courtroom. Once you and your spouse have agreed on the terms of your divorce, your lawyer can present the finalized divorce to the court for approval.
Who Is A Good Candidate For Amicable Divorce
Despite the name, you don't need to be friendly with your spouse to consider an amicable divorce. However, you do need to be able to deal with them calmly and minimize the amount of emotion you bring to the negotiations. This can be difficult when dealing with fraught issues like child custody, but it is also good practice; after your divorce, the more calmly you can handle your ex-spouse, the better it will be for your children.
Who Is A Poor Candidate For Amicable Divorce
Despite its benefits, amicable divorce isn't for everyone. There are plenty of people out there who simply can't come to an agreement with their spouse over the terms of a divorce; if this is the case, then amicable divorce certainly won't work.
More crucially, there are some couples who shouldn't attempt an amicable divorce at all. If there is any abuse in the relationship, an amicable divorce is not a good idea. And if one spouse is much wealthier or more powerful than the other, this can make negotiating in good faith difficult to do; it is generally better for each spouse to have their own divorce attorney.